There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
-Ernest Hemingway
Something most folks don't understand about me is that I am quite introverted. Those who know me are probably thinking, "Really? I never thought of you as an introvert. You're so...outspoken all the time!" or "But you're so loud and talk to so many people!"
If either of those things, or something similar, came to your mind, you'd be correct. Being from New England (I could compose a whole other entry on the personality traits of New Englanders, but for now, just go with me here.), I'm rather opinionated, loud, firm, harsh--whatever word you wish to use. I thoroughly enjoy getting to know people--talking with them. I even enjoy blathering on and on about random nonsense.
However, where my true passion lies is in quiet analysis. Of art, literature, music, people, anything. And, contrary to what I thought before, I internally process most of the information I receive.
For example. One of my biggest joys is listening to human beings describe their passions. There's nothing quite like it--you could even talk for hours about differential equations (That's a thing, right? I feel like I may have made that up...), and I would be enraptured if you were, for some reason, passionate about such a thing. Sure, I loathe mathematics as a general rule, but if it excites you, tell me about it!
It is through your passions that I am better able to understand you. Through understanding you, I can better understand the human race around me, and maybe, someday, I'll understand myself. Because, if I'm honest, I understand my own thoughts the least of all. But most importantly, I'll be able to help those around me, which is what I desire most of all.
This is why I often am exhausted in large groups of people. There's so much to see, hear, smell (especially in the university cafeteria, if you know what I mean), and process. I enjoy being there if the time is right (and relatively short), but, as a hobbit's heart lies in the Shire (yes, I went there), so mine lies in the quietness and reflection of a book or a pen and paper where I can internally review everything I have just experienced.
My introverted tendencies are something that I've recently discovered about--or rather, admitted to--myself. I'm still much louder than I often intend to be, and words have a tendency to flood out of my mouth without my say-so, but these are more defensive rather than core qualities of myself.
I've been rambling incessantly, but my point in sharing this is that you may be able to understand why I'm opening up this blog. Writing is something I love passionately with my entire being. Therefore, it is through words--whether they appear as font on a screen or scrawling on a spare sheet of paper--that my truest thoughts are revealed. It is so cliche, but writing is putting my heart on paper. Because of this, it physically pains me to think of other people reading any words I put together.
Which is exactly why I'm starting this blog.
I want to write. It's a passion God has given me--whether I'm any good is debatable, but my passion remains nonetheless. Hoarding this passion for myself would go against God's desires. I'm convinced of that fact. It is my desire that as I struggle to understand exactly who I am in Him, and what my purpose is, maybe I can touch somebody else--even one soul. And if I can't, at least I have an avenue through which I can process my thoughts.
After all, the only reason I exist is to serve Him and His kingdom with everything I have. And, I assure you, my writing is everything I have.
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