You Okay? No. And That's Okay.

So I have this friend who is really close to me. The last couple years of high school, we did all kinds of stuff together. Anything from running around in blanket capes, to McDonald's in our PJs, to deep late night conversations.

One time, during one of our late night conversations, she said something that revolutionized my life. I don't remember what we were talking about, I don't remember the day, but I remember the words.

"It's okay not to be okay."

That sentence changed how I thought about everything. We have this weird custom in our culture (I'm sure you're aware of it) where we greet each other with the phrase, "How are you?" The typical response, I know you'll remember, is "I'm good." This response is given regardless of circumstances.

Now don't worry, I'm not going to rant about the dishonesty or whatever with that whole thing--at this point, it's just another way to say hello. But it does illuminate an interesting aspect of our culture.

Everyone has to be "good" or "okay" all the time.

I'm sure you've heard or said something like, "They just look like they have it all together." That's what we do as Americans (and especially as Christian Americans): we gotta keep it together.

But who the heck has it all together? Who is okay all the time? Stuff happens, things get hard--tests are failed, relationships crumble, loved ones die--life just happens with or without our say-so. And even sometimes, for inexplicable reasons, we just don't feel okay.

Life can be going smoothly. Lots of friends, decent grades, time to sleep, roof over your head, food to eat, but you hurt. That's kind of where I'm at tonight as I blog at 1:30 in the morning with a Biology test in seven hours (for which I should be desperately studying). I just don't really feel awesome about myself right now. I'm not okay.

But that's okay.

When things happen (or even if they don't), you have to work through it. Cry, scream, hug someone, get angry, whatever you need to do. It's okay to express what you're feeling.

Ecclesiastes says there's a time for everything under the heavens. Jesus sweat drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. You can't tell me Jesus was okay--I've been in some rough spots, but I've never sweat blood. Jesus wasn't feeling too great in that moment.

Now, don't get me wrong. We are not to be ruled by our emotions. But. We do have emotions. God didn't give us feelings to force us to subdue them. We aren't Vulcans, people.

Talk to God about what you're feeling. I don't mean recite the Lord's Prayer (though that's never a bad idea) or start speaking Elizabethan English...verily forsooth.

No, I mean really talk to Him. God is a God of all the ages. There is literally nothing that makes English from 1611 better than modern English. God wasn't like, "Pray without ceasing--but none of this 2000 AD stuff. That's not good enough." That's what is incredible about our God! He transgresses all barriers--time, language, people groups, etc.

Sorry. I digress. That's a topic for another time.

If you want some inspiration, just read some of David's Psalms. That guy was seriously not okay sometimes--and he let God know it. You aren't fooling God with your fancy, masked speech. He already knows what you're feeling so you might as well scream it out at the top of your lungs. Trust me, you will feel about a billion times better about everything if you just let it out. 

Anyway. All this to say, I'm not feeling very okay, but that's okay. God's listening. I can still have joy in Him even when I'm upset (the beautiful difference between joy and happiness). 

Most importantly, He loves me whether or not I'm okay--and that's pretty great.